Meeting the Divine Feminine
Several years ago, living as an American in the South of France, I was experiencing excruciating pain in my left leg and hip and was referred to a massage therapist by a girl friend. I could have counted on one hand the number of massages I had in my life. I always believed that this was pure indulgence and not something that I either deserved or needed, however with the suffering I was experiencing I was willing to try anything.
As I lay on the table feeling certain parts of my body, for what felt like the first time, I began talking to the masseuse. She was trained in Tai Chi as well as massage and began talking to me about Yin and Yang. I had heard these terms used before however I must admit that I wasn’t really sure what they meant. She began to explain that Yin represents the more feminine qualities of creativity, expression, birthing, intuition, compassion, collaboration, receptivity, love, and simply “being”. And then she explained that the masculine energies of Yang represent power, analysis, linear thinking, control, competition and “doing”.
In hearing her description of Yin and Yang I instinctively knew that I was out of balance and heavy on my masculine energy (Yang). She confirmed that she could sense this imbalance quite strongly. Something about this simple truth deeply upset me. I immediately asked the masseuse what I had to do to be more feminine, and she told me that I simply needed to “be”. I was so locked in my concept of doing that I couldn’t even understand what she was saying. For me, it literally made no sense to just “be”. I had always felt that I had to “do” something to be worthy of “being”. “But what do I have to do to be?” I asked over and over again as I began to cry out of frustration and fear.
This was the beginning of my journey to discover my feminine energy. I started my work from the outside in, since I had this overwhelming sense that I needed to “do” something. I went out and bought a line of extremely feminine clothing, which was expressive and creative, full of lace and amazing fabrics, crazy buttons and vibrant colors. Since I had stopped working to be a full time mother I never allowed myself to spend money on clothes. Purchasing these clothes was an act of self-care I had never indulged in before. I began to understand that becoming more feminine meant nurturing and respecting myself, and wearing these clothes helped remind me of this.
When I wore these beautiful clothes to a conference in Munich a few years later I attracted attention from many women. I was thrilled when they told me how they felt about my clothes and my presence in the clothes. They said that I represented femininity. Receiving this incredible compliment made me feel that I had succeeded in welcoming the feminine back into my life. The clothes were no longer just an external way to express the feminine but an expression of the inner feminine I had reclaimed. I felt creative, desirable, worthy. I truly felt like a woman.
How do you express your feminine nature? What makes you feel worthy and desirable?
Do you find that you are often in the “doing” mode and less in the “being” mode? What if we could “be” more and “do” less. What if we could bring the “being” mode and pleasure to all that we “do” as women? What would that feel like?
Photo credit: Carli Jean